Before I started this blog, I avoided doing and trying a lot of things out of of fear. Well, a mixture of fear, anxiety, and laziness made me avoid doing many things. Some days a brilliant idea would pop into my head and by the time I had gone through the course of the day, I would have talked myself out of my brilliant idea. To be honest, I never saw a problem with it. That wasn’t until I began to share my brilliant ideas with other people. My friends, as grateful as I am for them, began to pester me about my “passions.” They supplied me with story ideas, planned photo shoots, creating experiences that ultimately lead me into producing… nothing. I’d write a couple of paragraphs, filled with all these new ideas, before I over-thought the entire thing and scrapped it. Explaining my writing process to my creative support system was far more nerve-racking than anything else. I felt as though I was disappointing everyone that had faith in me, which made me even sadder. Many, myself included, didn’t understand how I could just not “do it.” I felt stuck and anxious. I searched for inspiration in everything. I scored other blogs, submitted samples to writing mentors, and I even reworked pieces that I had no business revisiting. It wasn’t until I saw my ideas I had jotted down months and years ago coming to life through other people that I realized my fear had crippled me.
I read somewhere that creative ideas don’t die. They simply move on to those who are willing to work with them. My fear of inadequacy isn’t nearly as terrifying as watching dreams I’ve spent nights fantasizing over, happen without me. Nothing is worth that guilt. I’m not quite sure how my ideas will work out or where they will reach but the thought of not acting because of fear is a risk I am no longer willing to take.
Fear is unfair. It steals joy, passion, and if allowed, will take over an entire life. As I have learned, nothing perfect is created over night. There will be scoffs and people who constantly question why so and so is doing such and such but the ability to see past assumptions is within everyone, you just have to see it through.
Your passions and desires are valid. You have the ability to succeed at whatever is in your heart. You are beyond your wildest dreams.